You are a Spanish native, you wake up one morning in February and whilst it is sunny and warm, you know it is early in the year and will become much hotter, so you don your black skirt and cardigan, tights and shoes. Off you go for a walk to the village when coming towards you is this short, dumpy, middle-aged woman wearing knee length denim shorts and a red vest top (“Georges” – but you wouldn’t know that), bouncing along the road with a big beaming smile as if she’s just won the lottery. As she approaches you she broadens her smile even further and says “hello, I am on heat” and then does that gesture only a hot or post coital woman can do!!! Worse still, she then does the same to your recently heart transplanted husband sitting on the wall!

Well, as you’ve probably guessed, that is my latest faux pas!!! I only found out in my last Spanish class that I haven’t been saying “I am hot” but “I am on heat”….ooops! It is to the credit of the Espanols that they didn’t fall about laughing to my face, but nodded in bemusement!This can be added to my previous miscommunications of telling the architect that I intend to live here in two arseholes (easy to mix up Spanish words for years and anus), that I loved him (rather than the house) and to the kitchen fitter “I am a bit” rather than I am small! One thing is for sure, my lack of ability to learn and remember the language has not had a dampening affect on my enthusiasm to try to communicate!!  Better get back to my books/cds/computer/class!!